Also known as
- Ted
- Muffins
- Big Man
- Dennisas in the Menace, when he’s hyper
- Wee Man
- Trouble
- Teddy Bear
- Little Man
- Doggyhe acts like a dog sometimes
Experience
Reports to: nobody. Manages: everyone.
Lifeguard
Sits outside the shower while you’re in it, to make sure you’re OK.
Neighbourhood Watch
People-watches from his post to keep the neighbourhood safe.
Bug Catcher
Catches bugs. Then plays with them.
Keyboard QA Tester
Walks across the keyboard to test the input handling.
Desk Supervisor
Supervises the desk, and the AI agents running on it.
Box Inspector
Any box that comes into the house gets checked out.
Skills
- Movement
- Zoomies (Dennis mode, no warning given), Stealth (in rooms he wasn’t in a second ago)
- Rest
- Napping (expert, well past senior level), Cuddles
- Security
- People watching, Bug catching (plays with them first)
- Play
- Ball games, Toy demolition (the carrot is under review)
- Communication
- Chatty (always has an opinion), Food alarms (dinner is never late), Greeting you at the door
Not open to new roles: fully booked napping. References available on request (he won’t give them).
Performance review
- Exceeds expectations
- Napping. Zoomies.
- Needs improvement
- Letting bugs go. Respecting closed doors.
- Napping 70%
- People watching 15%
- Supervising AI agents 10%
- Zoomies 5%
On the job
Ball secured. 
Carrot under review. 
Supervising Christmas.